For Aron: Real World Panic
>> Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Aron said: ZOMG! I'm going to go into the real world, with responsibilities and other adult stuff *starts sucking thumb and rolling around in the fetal position* Tips, please?
[I had to redo this. For reasons unknown, the first post got lost.]
Yes, Aron, I do.
Tip #1: Don't panic. You're a thinker. You understand the importance of responsibility. Your priorities are straight. You know how much work it's going to be. Believe me when I tell you that you are ahead of most of the people your age, in fact many people much older. What you face is unlikely to be as devastating as your fear of it. Let it go and you will be better off.
Tip #2: Have a plan. Don't let worries and responsibilities overwhelm you. Address them rather than letting them pile up. As each new challenge comes, look at it as a puzzle to be solved and evaluate your options. If you take them face on, determine a path to address them, you'll find they weren't as frightening as you had envisioned.
Tip #3: All work and no play is not healthy. It is, in fact, a recipe for burnout. Find something, some activity, that allows you to destress, that relaxes and revitalizes you. It could be a video game or a favorite book or a physical activity or cleaning your home. Whatever it is, don't neglect taking time to do so. If you take no time for yourself, your life loses it's balance and you can become lost.
Tip #4: Laugh whenever you can. The world will never have too much laughter.
Tip #5: Having a laser kitty would be cool beans.
one piece of advice Steph forgot - take your thumb out of your mouth right now - thumbsucking will ruin your teeth!
You will be fine. Seriously.
And always watch which blog you are posting to. :)
Good point. The possibility that I'd put the post on my other blog didn't occur to me until I got up this morning.
Clearly, I was not on the ball.
I have a son going through this fetal ball, thumb sucking thing as he attempts to navigate the college world without help from mommy.
Yesterday I got five phone calls and four emails, followed by an AIM chat on my other son's computer, because I wasn't answering anymore so he defaulted to older brother.
"Problems" ranged from forgetting his bank account password to needed to retrieve his AP scores without his AP number, on accounta he never bothered to keep track of it.
Sigh.
So, my advice: Make a folder. Put in it all the details of your life. DON'T LOSE IT.
OMG Laser Kitty is AWESOME! I want one (but I want a time-turner first, if I have my preference).
I have a piece of advice to add to The Mother's: Learn to do things on your own, even if you parents are waiting around to help you. If you don't, you'll end up 45 and unable to support yourself, either financially or emotionally--and that's a very bad place to be. Make it a point of detaching yourself before they forcibly detach you. If you take your own chances (and yes, make your own mistakes and solve your own problems) you'll realize how capable you are, and that is priceless. You can't learn without trying, and learning involves mistakes.
It's most important that you make your OWN mistakes, though... by making your own choices and taking responsibility for those choices.
To add to The Mother's advice: also make a list of key information electronically. Back it up multiple locations including one that's not on your computer's harddrive.
Shakespeare has a point about cutting apron strings, but don't think it has to be cold turkey right away. Eighteen's pretty young to have no support and taking it all at once can be overwhelming. Take on all you can, though, maybe just a bit before you think you can. She's not wrong in saying you are often capable of more than you ever imagined.
One more thing, find a new support structure, not mentors or surrogate parents, but peers and friends, someone(s) you can turn to for support and advice without the expectation they'll solve your problems for you.
I totally agree about the cutting apron strings. I start nipping mine at about 8. If you do it gradually, the kid's none the wiser.
My first, I dropped off at Georgia Tech and said, "good luck."
My third will likely be dealt with the same way.
This one, however, is the one who always ignored all of my wise, maternal advice, perpetually lived in his computer, and never even considered the idea that any of that peripheral stuff could POSSIBLY be important.
GAK.
Most of my answers to those numerous calls and emails yesterday were, "What do you want me to do about it?"
No, mommy doesn't step in and make it all right. This is COLLEGE, damn it. Get a grip.
Mean. I'm so mean.
And don't panic about panicking. A little panic is OK, as long as you don't let it get out of control. Or is panic actually a sign that things ARE out of control? I don't know. Just don't make it worse by freaking out over the fact that you are panicking.
Agreed, JD. A little panic is fine unless it moves in permanently or goes on a feedback loop.
Thank guys... I still going to keep my duck tape in a "In case of emergency, break glass" box. I just need a lot of support and I'm very incompetent.
Aron, darling. Try some confidence.
Really, to be successful, you need the nohow and the skills...and you have to believe in yourself.
Attitude and self-confidence are as much a key to accomplishing your goals as your skills. Humility is all well and good, but self-confidence helps you get HEARD.