>> Sunday, July 12, 2009
While developing my moral system, I used these passages to support why I won't date, marry or have pre-marital sex:No one, Aron, can make that decision for you. I, personally, would be leery about making such an important decision based on a few hand-picked passages of any book, but it's not about me. I don't think the passage matter as much so much as your reaction to them. And it's not about me. I can't tell you that your reaction is wrong for you.
...his disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."
1 Cor 7:6-9
...This I say by way of concession, not of command. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.
1 Cor 7:24-35
...In whatever condition you were called, brothers and sisters, there remain with God. Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. I think that, in view of the impending crisis, it is well for you to remain as you are. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife... Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that. I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.
1 Cor 7:38-40
...So then, he who marries his fiancée does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my judgment she is more blessed if she remains as she is.
Is my conclusion logical? Is is better not to date and only focus on my mission in life which I feel is my calling?
Those passages may speak to you because that's what's best for you or because you feel it might be best for you. I honestly don't know.
I know you're awfully young and, when you're young, it's easy to see the world as black and white, all or nothing. I know from experience that what you often expect for yourself and what you actually get are often far different. I've also discovered that love can be hard to gainsay and it comes in the most inopportune times.
But, those are my experiences. Perhaps that's just not the path for you. I don't know, Aron. You have a great deal of life to go.
If I were to give you advice - and you've asked me too - I'd say to follow where your heart leads. If it leads only to work, that is undoubtedly the right path. If it leads elsewhere, I suggest following.
One more piece of advice. There's no harm in making a plan, for your immediate and long term future, but don't hate yourself if the path diverges and don't close any doors unnecessarily. You never know when an unexpected detour leads to fulfillment.