For Ayda: Relationship with Mark

Ayda asked: i have a question for your tarot cards. Can you pleas give me an insight into my relationship with Mark. Thank you!

Alright, we'll see what we can see (remembering, of course, that this is all in fun). Note also that, especially with the past, I won't really know if it's you or Mark we're talking about. Update: OK, maybe I can.

Past - Queen of Swords - This is a card that speaks of female sorrow and strengths: separation or widowhood. The traits called for are elegance and intuition, strength, wisdom, calm and dignity, self-reliance. The fact that this card is all about the feminine traits argue that it is you, Ayda. A card for a strong woman grieving an earlier relationship.
Present - Page of Swords - This card sounds more like a male. Also in the suite of swords, this card speaks of authority and management but perhaps secret duties, perhaps more than meets the eyes. He has all the appearance of friendliness and intelligence, but his aims are vague, his way flexible. His mind is quick and discerning and he is independent and adventurous.

Future - Swords 7 - Swords can be an unforgiving suite where even the happier cards have an edge and this is your third one. Nor is it one of the happier cards. It's a card of plans and hopes, but little progress, perseverence but self-deceit. There are secrets here and someone is up to no good, with a breakdown possible.

Here's how I'd read the cards. You've come off one or more relationship that ended, relationships you grieved over. In comes someone new, someone who appeals, who is charming and intelligent, but also someone who doesn't give you the whole picture of himself. What isn't said, what isn't out into the open can doom your plans together, not only allowing you to think you have something different than you actually do but fool you into holding on to it far longer than you should.

Not saying the cards are right, but that's my impression from them. Sorry.

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For Anonymous: Prospective Son-in-Law

Anonymous said: I have a question... my daughter is presently dating, is loyal & believes she has found her future husband in him. I would like to know whether he is honestly a good, trustworthy guy and will do well in future.

Now, of course, I'm a firm believe in people choosing their own lifetime companions, but, as a parent, I appreciate your interest. Everyone wants (or should want) the best for their children.

Let's see what the cards have to say.

Past - Cups II (reversed) - Cups II generally indicates the beginning of a relationship and has much to recommend it when it comes to a relationship. Unfortunately, in the reversed position it can indicate underlying concerns, foolishness, disappointment, or issues that are not readily solved. In the reversed position, this can indicate a relationship that will not last.

Present - Pentacles IV - This is a card about ambition, greed, the quest for material gain. There's also an underlying current of possessiveness, the need for ownership. It can also denote success, advancement, attainment, but its presence here, between these other cards flavors my reading of it.

Future - King of Swords (reversed) - another card that is a good card, a reflection of a strong, ambitious, self-made man that takes on different connotations in the reversed position. Determined becomes tyrannical. Strong becomes brutal. Unimpeachable becomes treacherous.

I'll tell you what I think, but say, before I do, to be wary of giving this or any reading too much credence. I've never met any of the particulars and, truthfully, one should be wary of the truth of the cards under the best of circumstances.

These cards indicate a relationship that is likely to end badly or be very unhealthy in the long run. There are signs that a man (and a relationship) that had the potential for greatness becomes twisted and corrupted over time. As I know from personal experience, even with the best intentions, the wrong relationship with a decent man can hurt everyone. The cards indicate underlying differences in morals perhaps or intelligence. Greed or ambition appear to set someone on a path that leads to corruption and tyranny.

If you had your doubts, the cards share them. I wish I could tell you what to do. In the end, she will have to make her own choices. Make sure you are there to help her if she needs it. That's what I'd advise.

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For yvettearlene: Um, what?

Yvettearlene "asked": hi stephanie i just cant seem to leave this alone.i have been trying different spells to make my lover return to and the last person told me i will see results within 1-12 weeks.i posted before and want to know if they still think on me they were born on 2nd april 1974.please read for me to tell me why they are so resistant to me or if they still want to talk to me.thank you.

I'll be honest, I don't know what you're asking from me. The pronoun "they" was used frequently, and I wasn't quite clear on what "they" you meant.

However, although I'm not sure what your question was, I am concerned for you. From what I'm reading (and that part seems to jibe with your previous question), you seem very intent on the return of a lover. I can sympathize with the notion.

But, when you speak of "spells to make my lover return," you move beyond my sympathy and travel into a place I can't support. People who love other people don't "make them" return, don't even want them to return unless it's where the people they love want to be.

Why? Because love isn't about having people with you or controlling them. It's about wanting what's best for them, wanting them to be happy. Making someone come back to you (or stay with you) if that's not where they want to be isn't a sign of love; it's a sign of obsession and not the healthy kind.

Perhaps you should look to your own life for fulfillment. If the lover you want is meant to be with you, he is unlikely to accept you until you've found your own balance, made peace with yourself and learned to live your own life.

Then you'll have something worthwhile to share.

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For Missice: Is this Mr. Right?

Missice asked: i have a question for your tarot cards, i know - not very creative. I'm single for too long and lately i have met someone who made my heart beat faster again. What do the cards say? Any new relatonship coming my way soon?

Let's check it out.

Past - II The High Priestess - this card is all about female power, intelligence, education, coming to grips with your inner strengths and talents. You may have been single, but this card argues that you spent that time learning to appreciate your own strengths, your own womanhood, and yourself and have made the most of yourself.

Present - King of Swords (reversed) - This is not a card (in this position) that I would use to describe a good person. In this position, the card speaks of malice and tyranny, perversity and deceit. Even at its most charitable, it means insecurity and mental illness.

Future - XIII Death - Although often equated with actual death, this card can mean profound change and transformation, which could describe a new life with your great love. Paired with the previous card, I can't see it that way and would have to say the cards foresee failure and loss. It may not be the end of the relationship, but illness can also be part of this which might argue the results of mental illness.

All in all, I can't say the cards are very excited about your current prospect. But they are just cards. My advice, make sure you aren't with someone who takes away all you've built for yourself, with anyone who doesn't appreciate the person you've made of yourself. If you do so, you'll be going in the right direction.

I am not one of those who subscribes to the notion that any love is better than none. I've been there and, you know what, sometimes being alone is better. In my opinion.

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Twofer: Jen and Wondering

I'm trying to catch up since I fell somewhat behind, so today it's two tarot readings for two people.

First, for Jen, who asked, "I have that same question, when will I find love again. I've been divorced for five years now and am pretty tired of it. I have dated but so far no one I have met has given me the butterflies in the stomach, I want that again. Am I wasting my time and should I just settle for a good man? Even if he doesn't thrill me?"

Let's see what the cards say.

Past - Page of Swords - This seems like the description of someone. Since the question is about love, I'd assume it was someone in a past relationship. There are several conflicting meanings, but I get the sense that this someone was apparently intelligent, friendly and full of plans, but the plans were vague and the individual in question was both suspicious and stubborn.

Present - Cups X - Your present seems to be ripe with the promise of contentment, harmony, fellowship. The individual this card sees has the potential for a permanent relationship, someone who balances you and potentially completes you. There are no violins, no butterflies connected with this card, but, if this is your "good man," he appears to be a good man indeed, not just good, but good for you.

Future - Wands IV (Inverted) - Your question was fairly specific and the cards have been, too. In the reversed position, this card speaks of unfulfilled romance, lost tranquility, hasty decisions that lead to disappointment.

In the end, no one can tell you what you need or don't need, but the cards seem quite convinced that you have an opportunity for happiness right now. The possibility exists that, no matter how good your potential lover is, he will never be able to give you what you need. But there is another possibility that what you think you need won't make you happy like you'd like it to. Wands IV inverted could very well be potential with someone who seems exciting and romancing - only, in the final analysis, he doesn't work for you.

Aside from the reading, I want to tell you my viewpoint. I'm inherently against settling, in that you stay with someone because you don't want to be alone, but they can't give you what you need. Having said that, nice guys get a bad rap and you should be very sure your view on what you need isn't skewed before you give up on a relationship that has everything but fire. Fire is beautiful, exciting, but can be painful, destructive and short-lived. Sometimes, being warm is enough. Good luck!

Wondering asked: How about this: Will I get this job I interviewed for? And, if not, will I have other career options? Hope this isn't too much! :) Thanks.

In these uncertain times when so many are struggling, I always hope I can find happy answers. Let's see.

Past - Swords IX (reversed) - You've had hardship in the past, suffering, anxiety, worry, hopelessness, loss, perhaps illness. I get the sense from this card that it was not one thing, but several things that compounded to make the situation very challenging, where you felt you had nowhere to turn.

Present - Pentacles (Coins) VII (reversed) - In the reversed position, this card doesn't offer much hope on a specific option you were hoping for right now. It speaks of disappointment, dashed hopes, impatience and a fear of failure. But it isn't without hope as there's a potential for something you have to wait for. Let's check the last card...

Future - Pentacles (Coins) V - This is more hopeful. The card still speaks of adversity and challenges, but it also speaks of success through hard work, common sense, perhaps some physical labor. My sense is success will be slower in coming than you'd hoped and there are still tough times ahead, but there are options and, with intelligence, perseverance and hard work, you can find success.

I wish I could have found you an easy answer, but it looks like hard work's ahead and success may be a bit further away than you'd hoped. I'll tell you one thing, though, there is no sense of accomplishment like doing something challenging well. I wish you the best possible in finding a career that works for you and that brings you eventual success. Good luck!

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For Grace: Can I Go?

Grace said: i have a question for the Tarot cards - We have plans to hopefully, move next year, is it gonna happen. I so have to get outta this place. Thanks

So, let's find out what the cards have to say.

Past - III The Empress - This card argues stability, domesticity, motherhood, marriage. A home built and lived in, generally happily.

Present - King of Cups - This card is the only one in the spread that talks about travel, (specifically) travel across water, so moving may be part of your "present" but it could be just visiting. Additionally, this card speaks of a careful lover, but a passive stance as if you are just waiting for events to unfold instead of pursuing them yourself.

Future - I The Magician (reversed) - the Magician in the reversed position has nothing to do with travel, per se, but it does hint at being duped, chicanery, being misled. What I would say is that someone very persuasive might come into your life who has a story that sounds good. Be skeptical (which is often good advice anyways).

Not a definitive answer here, so I'll look for clarification.

Cups VII - This card speaks of needing to make the right chances, of being pulled by unrealistic fantasies and wishful thinking down the wrong path. However, it also speaks of a change in residence and a relationship that can help financially. Basically, this card would argue that a move is coming but that it might not be as wonderful as it might seem on the surface. Be wary.

VI The Lovers - But there's a real potential for lasting and true love involved as well, an ultimate fulfillment still available despite whatever hardships and challenges come your way.

Here's hoping.

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For Shakespeare: All You Need Is Love?

Shakespeare asked: Does the world need LOVE most of all, or is it something else?

In short, yes, but only if we expand love to encompass all its meanings.

What I mean is, romantic love is wonderful, but it's just a small subset of the kind of loves out there. I think romantic love is a good thing, given that I always equate "real"romantic love with the kind of complete acceptance of another's failings and at least some willingness to endure self-sacrifice for the other's happiness. In fact, a driving need for the other's happiness is one of the key elements of romantic love. Just the capacity for putting someone else's needs before one's own makes someone a better person, in my opinion.

But there are other kinds of love. Like the love for your children, the kind that makes you think about the future and drives you to make sacrifices to ensure their future. This kind of love can end up translating to benefits for the environment, long term financial strategies that look beyond personal profit here and now and putting a strong emphasis on education - all things I think make the world a better place.

There's the love for your friends and extended family that reminds you that things you do to yourself have repercussions on the people around you. That kind of thinking can increase one's understanding of responsibility and appreciation for the affects of your actions on others. That kind of thinking has an effect on behavior, often salutary, so I think that's a good thing.

There's also a love of oneself. I'm not talking about the kind of selfish preoccupation that allows one to put one's own interests ahead of any and all other considerations, but a self-respect that allows one to stand up for one's own happiness when it is being sacrificed by all others and serves as an example to children and other friends. This is the kind of hard-won love that allows battered women to escape with their children from abusive relationships or drives people to educate themselves to accomplish more despite the sacrifices those efforts entail. People who respect themselves have, in my opinion, less of a drive to control or treat others with contempt.

And that self-respect leads to what I think is the last one, a respect and reverence for all humanity. In my opinion, it is insecurity that drives people to find reasons to hate others, to come up with excuses to think less of them, to find reasons to subjugate them. I'm not saying it's the only reason, but I think it's a big one. Whatever the cause, though, I think it's all but impossible to do heinous things to others, be callous to the planet we live on, get sucked in with manipulations of hatred and fear if we have a healthy love for humanity.

At least, that's what I think.

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For Aron: Eschewing Love

Aron said:

While developing my moral system, I used these passages to support why I won't date, marry or have pre-marital sex:

Matthew 19:10-12
...his disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."

1 Cor 7:6-9
...This I say by way of concession, not of command. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.

1 Cor 7:24-35
...In whatever condition you were called, brothers and sisters, there remain with God. Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. I think that, in view of the impending crisis, it is well for you to remain as you are. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife... Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that. I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.

1 Cor 7:38-40
...So then, he who marries his fiancée does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my judgment she is more blessed if she remains as she is.

Is my conclusion logical? Is is better not to date and only focus on my mission in life which I feel is my calling?

No one, Aron, can make that decision for you. I, personally, would be leery about making such an important decision based on a few hand-picked passages of any book, but it's not about me. I don't think the passage matter as much so much as your reaction to them. And it's not about me. I can't tell you that your reaction is wrong for you.

Those passages may speak to you because that's what's best for you or because you feel it might be best for you. I honestly don't know.

I know you're awfully young and, when you're young, it's easy to see the world as black and white, all or nothing. I know from experience that what you often expect for yourself and what you actually get are often far different. I've also discovered that love can be hard to gainsay and it comes in the most inopportune times.

But, those are my experiences. Perhaps that's just not the path for you. I don't know, Aron. You have a great deal of life to go.

If I were to give you advice - and you've asked me too - I'd say to follow where your heart leads. If it leads only to work, that is undoubtedly the right path. If it leads elsewhere, I suggest following.

One more piece of advice. There's no harm in making a plan, for your immediate and long term future, but don't hate yourself if the path diverges and don't close any doors unnecessarily. You never know when an unexpected detour leads to fulfillment.

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For Joel: How's My Love Life Looking?

Joel asked: Do your tarot cards have anything to say about the prospects for my love-life?

Ah, Joel, for you, anything. To an extent.

*Cracks knuckles*

Let's see what we can see.

Past - Wands X (reversed) - I asked about your love life and the cards say it's been trouble. It seems that past relationships involved selfishness, deceit, uncertainty, even some cruelty (the card doesn't say on who's part). There are also tones of work you enjoy, one that lead to your potential.

Present - Queen of Swords - This is a card more about you than your love life. Oh, there's embarassment and need, but there's also calm and intuition, wisdom and self-reliance. You speak your mind and have no tolerance for fools.

But you want to know is your future....

Future - Swords VI (reversed) - Your love life apparently has some impediments, among them arrogance, intellectual pride, selfishness. Again, the cards don't say whose arrogance we're talking about.

Yes, but that's not particularly helpful (which certainly can happen with tarot readings), so let's try for some clarification.
Knight of Swords - There is apparently a relationship, one with strife and conflict, but there is fearlessness and courage. Pride is part of this and some anger, perhaps, some old baggage.

King of Swords - Your reading is pretty heavy in the swords royalty and this one argues the recurring theme - courage and bravery (apparently the same individual as the last one), but there's also perseverance and patience. There's honesty and delving to the heart of the issue, and the patience rewarded in the end.

So, what do I think this means?

I think there's a potential for a real relationship with someone who is smart and tough-minded, strong and...a little broken. This someone is intellectually on par, which has not always been the case, and honest, which has also not always been the case. It won't be an easy relationship and will take work and patience, but, if you can do so...this may be a relationship with a real future.

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Love for Anonymous?

Anonymous says: I have a question for the cards about my relationship. I’ve been dating the same guy for seven years and I’m just not sure if we should continue. I love him very much, but we’re very different and I just don’t know what the future holds for us.

By now, I hope you all know the drill. And, remember, a remote tarot reading by someone you’ve never met: not the best way to rule your life. Since I don’t know anything about you, anonymous, I’m flying kind of blind on interpreting the cards. They could be referring to you or to your boyfriend or the situation; I will use my best judgment to try to discern what they mean but your own understanding may give you a better feel.

XI Strength (reversed) - I’m assuming this indicates some potential issues in your relationship. Meanings for this card in the reversed position include overbearingness, discord, weakness, crossed signal, mixed messages. The two could even combine in that an inability to communicate effectively may lead to discord or the perception of tyranny or weakness. In either case, there is clearly some dissatisfaction in where you are now.

Page of Coins or Pentacles (reversed) - Again, more traits. It’s not clear if they are actual traits or perceptions one of you has about the other: adulterous, wasteful, deceitful, boastful, out-of-touch with values. The card says that the future is unclear, but it is clear that this is not a healthy basis for a romantic future. If these are legitimate traits, your future is not so good. If they are perceptions (on your part or your potential mate’s), they must be resolved before any real future is possible.

Queen of Wands - Ah, a more complimentary card. This is definitely a feminine card and indicates, assuming you’re female, traits any woman would be proud to have: loving, outgoing, poised,understanding…charming.

OK, here’s what I’m reading. Either he or you have a perception of some pretty unhappy traits, differences beyond the small things that make a relationship really work, differences in your core values, what you believe in, what kind of people you want to be. In order to know if this relationship has a future, you will have to determine if these perceptions reflect reality; however, if the one who is perceiving is your partner, the cards are adamant that you are honest and true, charming and capable. In that case, he will have to overcome these perceptions or the relationship has little chance for success. If, however, they reflect your concerns about him, and I think this is what the cards are saying, you’ll have to decide if they are reflections in reality. If they are reality (and I suspect you know if they are), this is not the relationship for you.

Let me see if they can tell me if the traits called out are reality (though I think you’ll know):

Three of Cups (reversed) - deception, disappointment, doubt, laziness, addiction…someone moving away and a growing apart. I’m sorry. The cards do not seem hopeful about your current relationship.

I will ask what else the future holds if you stay:

Six of Swords (reversed) - delayed journey, sorrow, disappointment, arrogance, egoism that you feel you can’t escape.

And if you move away:

X Wheel of Fortune - This card indicates an ending, but also an advancement for better or worse. It’s a card of destiny, of inevitability, and generally of good fortune: success, happiness, evolution and movement instead of stagnation.

They’re just cards. It is your life and your decision, but the cards seem to think you’d find more success and happiness on a different path. I’m sorry.

1. # fliton 21 Mar 2009 at 7:50 pm edit this

   hmph! Those cards give everyone but me much clearer answers! Not necessarily the answers one wants… but at least they are pretty clear.

2. # stephanieebarron 21 Mar 2009 at 8:04 pm edit this

   I don’t know what to tell you, flit. Sorry. The cards do the same thing to me if I try read my own fortune.

3. # 100indecisionson 21 Mar 2009 at 9:59 pm edit this

   Got a somewhat odd question for the Tarot Queen–I’d like to know more about the deck itself rather than a reading. Basically I’d like to create a Tarot-like system of fortunetelling for a sci-fi novel I’m working on, but to do that I should probably understand some of the symbolism in existing Tarot decks, how they’re interpreted, what some of the standard cards are, that kind of thing. I can probably find out some of this myself, but I’m interested in a take on it from someone who’s actually done some readings.

4. # stephanieebarron 21 Mar 2009 at 10:04 pm edit this

   I can do that. Interestingly enough, I only found out about tarot and started to play around with it so I could write some short stories using it as a motif. They’re not done, but I’ve got three written.

   I’ll write up what I know (another “self taught” thing so bear that in mind) tomorrow. Great question, though.

5. # JD at I Do Thingson 22 Mar 2009 at 7:37 am edit this

   Dear Tarot Queen/Sympathetic Ear: I have chronic back pain from scoliosis. Five days ago, I started having worse-than-usual pain. As far as I know, I didn’t do anything specific that would bring about the pain. I’m spinning my wheels on what to do, because I just can’t be objective about my pain. If I seek help, I feel like I’m complaining. I keep saying, one more day. If it’s not better, I’ll do something.

   Can you see anything? Should I just ride it out? Go to the doctor? I don’t know why this is so hard for me.

   Thanks.

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